Stahili Supporter and Advocate Discovers The Truth About Orphanages

A while ago I started working with a group of children living in rural Kenya. These children are supported by a young but very active organization called Stahili Foundation. The three founders of this organization introduced me to a concept, which was entirely new to me: orphanages are bad for children.

No way! This was exactly what I first thought. I have to admit, I have always thought that orphanages are the only place that can help children who could not be supported by their parents. When the initial denial and shock faded, I opened my browser and started to look for the answers online.

Any there it was. Various studies and a number of blogs and interviews all drawing a very similar conclusion; orphanages often have a very serious negative impact on children’s behaviour, often surfacing later in their lives. However, when I sat back and really thought about it, this was not as shocking as I previously thought.

Every child has a right to be nurtured by a family unit. Fact.

Those who do not have or are unable to stay with their relatives have a right to an alternative care which would allow continuity in a child’s upbringing and to the child’s ethnic, religious, cultural and linguistic background. Also a fact.

This is a fundamental right afforded to every child by the Convention on the Rights of the Child no matter in which nation he or she lives. Fact, fact, fact! Even if this seems to be plainly understandable, children are still living in orphanages that cannot offer them a life that would even remotely represent a family.

When I was on this search to find evidence of abusive or unstable orphanages, I came across this recent article by the Washington Post. Izidor Ruckel, now 32, has recently taken his story public about the severe abuse bestowed upon him and dozens of other children at an orphanage in Romania. His story is one of the most severe , yet powerful stories speaking out against abusive orphanages.

One of the most haunting quotes from the article; “It was like an insane asylum,” recalls Janice Tomlin, a producer who was there that day. “We saw kids in straitjackets, we saw kids in a cage. . . . We saw this boy who was literally starving, dying.”

While not all children in orphanages are living in such severe conditions, there are still countless issues that follow even the most “normal” orphanages. A children’s home, as they are otherwise referred too, promise housing, food, and sometimes a certain level of education. However, they do not get what is very important for their development – stable human interaction and love.

A very simple scenario: a child lives with other children, he or she sees the principal to whom the orphanage is merely a day job and who gives all love and care to his or her own children. While a staff member might care for the child, the fact is, this is their job and not their own child. The same child living in the orphanage meets a lot of volunteers who give him their full love and support. The volunteers, however, leave and cycle out every few months.

There is no stability, no real human connection or parental support. Children lose their ability to interact, they lack of emotional attachment to their families, not to mention people that they see only for few months. These kids lack of self-interest, they do not find their cultural heritage interesting nor exciting. They lose the simple childish curiosity to explore life and ask questions that others living in a stable environment have!

These negative trends have been explored in various studies. Georgette Mulheir, who visited many orphanages in 18 countries, in her TED talk says that children living in the orphanages do not integrate seamlessly into larger society;  they are 10 times more likely to be involved in prostitution, 40 times more likely to have a criminal record and — shockingly — 500 times more likely to commit suicide. I could not believe this. Numbers are shocking.

Every child has a right to have a family, to feel love and support, and to be a part of the greater society. I would like to stress one more time – EVERY child has such right, even the child who cannot be supported by his or her immediate family. This is not just a right afforded to them by international instruments; this is a part of the entire humanity. We are social creatures. Family is a first and the most important part of that our lives which introduces us to the society.

It is not enough to give the children in need a house to live. They need an environment which they could truly call home.